I think about Haiti a lot. I think about our last trip, I think about our trip coming up and I think about how to explain the way I feel about Haiti. One day, I don't know why or how, but sushi and Haiti connected. Funny, I know. I'm kind of quirky that way.
The first time I experienced sushi, my first thought at seeing the raw fish I was about to put into my mouth was, this is weird, scary, possibly dangerous to my health and, well, not right. And yet, I still wanted to try it. After I tried it, I didn't really enjoy the experience, but, I didn't hate it either. In fact, there was something about it that made me want to try it again. The next time I tried it however, I actually did like it. From that point on, I've enjoyed eating sushi.
So, how is sushi like Haiti to me? Well, the first time we experienced Haiti, it was evident as soon as we stepped off the plane, that the people of Haiti were desperate and in a desperate place. It's thick. And yet, we had children there. Children we had been longing to meet. That fact pushed us through what we would see and experience of Haiti. It was weird and surreal, scary and hard. Our children, though at a very good orphanage, were still in Haiti and food is limited and illnesses are not. The experience of caring for our children whose bodies were severely malnourished was not something I could have ever prepared myself for. Seeing people so desperate and a place so devastated was another thing I could not have prepared myself for. It was a lot to sift through in the week we spent there. It was hard, hard on the soul. But, it also changed my life, my perspective on everything. To hold and feed and love a severely malnourished orphaned child you want to claim as yours to the whole world dramatically changes your life. From that experience, as well as many other adoption experiences, my husband and I have fallen deeper in love with Jesus. He fills us and refills us with a passion and a desire for orphans, adoption and family that is more satisfying than anything we've ever know. He is abundant life. He is.
So, my second trip to Haiti has me feeling a bit apprehensive. I'm afraid of the feelings I felt last time. Fear, sadness, overwhelmed with it all. So, though Haiti was quite an experience, my boys are there and Haiti calls me back to try it again.
Pray for us if you think about.
New Tricks, Old Dog
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