long time no blog

I need to get caught up here.

A lot has happened at home as well as in Haiti.

I'll start with Haiti first. You may have read on my husband's blog that we are out of IBESR, which miraculously happened much quicker than expected. We are now finalizing funds required to enter the next stage in the paper journey. Please pray, if you would for this stage of the paper work and funds as well. As far as the parent trip in October, Chris had planned on going, but wasn't able to. Ugh. We found out from our coordinator (she's so great by the way) who was on the trip, that Schneider was admitted to the hospital. He ended up staying about three weeks He is out now and improving and gaining weight. Communication is kind of sketchy coming from Haiti, so we don't know what his illness was. I knew when we got this photo update he wasn't well. Yes, he usually looks sad, but this is more than sad. You can see big brother's arm around him. I love that seeing that. Changlais is such an awesome big brother. He's always with Schneider in all the updates we get. It's been 5 months now since we've seen the boys. Do they even remember the week we spent together?

It's kind of numbing... it's been such a long journey. Going back and forth to Haiti, email updates, unexplained illnesses. You kind of start thinking it will always be this way and it begins to get really hard to picture them home, really.

I miss them.

As for home, it's time to update our home study, our fingerprints, as well as our I171 H. It's a lot. We'd appreciate your prayers here as well.

Also, you've may have also read from my husband blog that we've started an adoption ministry. It's been very exciting, but I'll talk about it in the next post.

Thanks for hanging in here with us!

Just the boys this time...

We have dates for the next parent trip.
Chris leaves October 16th. Yes, just Chris this time. I think my heart just landed in my feet as I typed that last line. I won't be on this trip, because I need to be a mommy here this time. I'm not complaining, just wish I could have our children all in one place. The reality that I won't be there to kiss and hold the boys is sinking in now and the tears are already starting.
These photos are our August updates. I love getting updates! It's like a rebirth every time we get a new photo. Look at poor Schneider. Why does he have on a sweat shirt? Hi Changlais, my sweet man. I sure do miss you. Daddy's coming soon. I miss you terribly, painfully, urgently and breathlessly my boys...

Time

Each time I post, I am reminded of time apart from our sons. Time is not on their side. Adoptions in Haiti have slowed to a crawl as you will read. I'm posting an email we received from our agency. It details ways we can and you can help the orphans in Haiti.

When I first saw the email it looked overwhelming, draining even. We've been at this adoption for a long time. But, my heart pounds, races every time I think of our boys and all the other faces of the children at the orphanage. Does your heart pound when you hear "orphanage"? Do you feel their pain, the children's, even just for a brief moment. Maybe the pain that shoots across your heart is just too much, so you turn away or turn it off. Pray for strength that you won't turn away. Pray for strength to help. God has something for you, personally, to do to help an orphan. Pray, he will give you strength to do something.

Here's the letter from our agency... please continue reading!!!

Dear Wasatch Haiti Waiting Families and associates;
I am passing along information from JCICS (Joint Council on International Children's Services) that I just received, the JCICS Haiti task force has been working tirelessly to help with the problems mounting in Haiti. The following is the result of their efforts and they are asking all of us to join in to see that changes are made.
“The efforts of the JCICS Haiti Task Force have at last come to fruition. This morning the office of Congresswoman Cathy McMorris Rodgers (WA) with the support of Senator Sam Brownback (KS) sent a Dear Colleague letter to all members of both houses of the US Congress. It is time for our parents to act in support of the pending Haitian adoption law”.
Please share and post the letter below as much as possible. The Dear Colleague letter and the pending law need our maximum support. Have your families and friends get involved, we all need to work together to make changes in Haiti. Please make note that JCICS is asking that phone calls be made within a 72 hour window for maximum affect, the dates are listed below.
Please let me know if you have any questions.Chareyl Moyes Haiti Program Manager _________________________________________________________________

Joint Council Haitian Children & Families Initiative
Dear Friends,
Over the past three years, the processing of adoptions in Haiti have slowed to a crawl. Abandoned children are enduring adoption processes lasting two or three years before being united with adoptive families.
Not only is such lasting institutional care damaging to the children who wait and wait, but the slowed process has had a negative effect on the many desperately needy children of Haiti who are not waiting in orphanages. Orphanages in Haiti have traditionally been providers of humanitarian aid to their communities. Many support free medical clinics, schools, feeding programs and family preservation programs. Orphanages have been a resource for temporary care for children following a family crisis, such as a fire or illness. But now that children are languishing in orphanage care for years, orphanage directors report that the beds are full, the food and medicine supplies are insufficient, and the children needing temporary care are left on the streets with little prospect for life.
In a laudable effort to move towards transparent and democratic government, Haitian officials are now adhering to the Haitian Constitutional law regarding adoption, written in 1974 by Jean Claude Duvalier. While the law of 1974 places severe limitations on the size and age of those who may adopt, it does allow for Presidential Dispensation for those not meeting the family size or age limitations. Unfortunately, Haiti lacks an organized and transparent system for obtaining Dispensations. This confusion along with the absence of a sense of urgency regarding institutionalized children has caused extensive delays in the adoption process and further victimizes children who have already lost much.
Haiti has a pending solution to this legal logjam. A newly proposed adoption law will clarify who may adopt, increase protections for Haitian children, their birth parents, and adoptive families, and streamline the adoption process. This legislation is supported by the United States and French governments along with the NGO community and UNICEF.
The children of Haiti, the crèche directors who serve them and the adoptive families who wish to raise them need your help. We must encourage the Haitian government to pass the new adoption law and efficiently grant Dispensations in the interim.
What can you do? Make five simple phone calls and write one letter.

1. Call your U.S. Senator.
· You can find your Senators’ phone numbers at www.senate.gov
· Ask to speak with the Legislative Director or Chief of Staff

2. Call your second U.S. Senator.

3. Call your representative to the U.S. House of Representative.
· You can find your representative at www.house.gov
· Ask to speak with the Legislative Director or Chief of Staff

4. Call or fax UNICEF Haiti
· Ask to speak with Julie Bergeron
· Their number is 011-509- 2245-3525
· Their fax number is 011-502- 2245-1877
· Their email address is jbergeron@unicef.org
Please note that calls and faxes to Haiti are international calls

5. Write letters for the Haitian Prime Minister, President of the Haitian Senate, and the Minister of Social Welfare.
· Your letter can contain the same information as specified below. If you are an adoptive family or are close to a Haitian-born adopted child, insert a picture of the child or your family in your letter.
· Describe your family’s commitment to Haitian culture and the country’s well being as a result of your contact with a Haitian-born adopted child.
· Mail your letter to Holt International, which has volunteered to collect letters and transport them to Haiti for hand delivery to the above government officials.
Holt International
Haitian Children & Families Initiative
P.O. Box 2880
Eugene, OR 97402

6. Forward this message to everyone you know who cares about the welfare of abandoned children in Haiti. Individuals need not be personally involved in a Haitian adoption to let their voices be heard on behalf of children who have no one to speak for them!

When should you call? August 13th, 14th, and 17th
· For maximum affect, we are asking you to make these calls within a 72 hour window!
What should you say or write to member of the U.S. Congress?
Speak from your heart and give them the following information.
· Inform them that you are calling regarding Joint Council Haitian Children & Families Initiative
· Inform them that the Haitian international adoption process is unreasonably delayed.
· Inform them that children referred to U.S. families are anguishing in institutions
· Inform them that the backlog of children in the process of adoption is preventing orphanages, who serve as local humanitarian aid providers, from continuing to assist their communities.
· Inform them that due to the interruption of services provided by the orphanages, Haitian children outside the orphanages are needlessly dying.
· Ask that their office to sign the Dear Colleague letter regarding the pending Haitian adoption law, sponsored by Congresswoman Cathy McMorris Rodgers and Senator Sam Brownback. The letter asks that adoptions currently in process be speedily granted Presidential Dispensation and that the new adoption law be passed.

Sample Statement
Hello,
We are calling/writing on behalf of the Haitian Children & Families Initiative. We, as your constituents, are asking that the Senator/Congressperson sign the Dear Colleague letter regarding the pending Haitian adoption law, sponsored by Congresswoman Cathy McMorris Rodgers and Senator Sam Brownback.
As you may be aware, the Haitian adoption process is unreasonably delayed.
Children already matched with adoptive families are languishing in orphanages for two and three years. The orphanages, which have traditionally served as humanitarian aid outreach centers, have run out of resources and are no longer able to offer assistance to their communities. Haitian children outside the orphanages are dying needlessly as a direct result of the delayed adoptions.
Your office must get involved and sign the Dear Colleague letter to support the Haitian government in their effort to assist the homeless and abandoned children of Haiti.
Sincerely,

What should you say or write to UNICEF?
Speak from your heart and give them the following information.
· Inform them that you are calling regarding the Joint Council Haitian Children & Families Initiative
· Ask them to support the rights of children and lend their considerable influence to ensuring that inter country adoptions currently in-process be speedily processed to completion under the existing Presidential Dispensation clause.
· Inform them that many adoptions are taking two or three years to process, during which time children languish in orphanages.
· Inform them that due to the over extension of their resources, orphanages are no longer able to provide their traditional humanitarian aid services to their communities, such as free schools, medical care, temporary child care for families in crisis, and family preservation programs.
· Inform them that as a direct result of the orphanage’s inability to provide humanitarian aid due to overly taxed resources, children are needlessly dying in the streets outside the orphanages.
· Ask them again for their support of the Presidential Dispensation and the swift passage of the new adoption law.

Sample Statement
Hello,
· We are calling/writing on behalf of the Joint Council Haitian Children & Families Initiative
· As financial supporters of UNICEF (through our tax dollars), we are asking that UNICEF lends its support and considerable influence to the Joint Council Haitian Children & Families Initiative
As you may be aware, the Haitian adoption process is unreasonably delayed. Children already matched with adoptive families are languishing in orphanages for two and three years. The orphanages, which have traditionally served as humanitarian aid outreach centers, have run out of resources and are no longer able to offer assistance to their communities. Haitian children outside the orphanages are dying needlessly as a direct result of the delayed adoptions.
UNICEF must get involved to ensure that adoptions in process be speedily granted Presidential Dispensation so that they can be completed in a timely manner, and that the new adoption law be passed.
Sincerely,

Can you explain the problem behind the current crisis?
Here is some additional information…
· The current constitutional law, written in 1974 by Jean Claude Duvalier, severely restricts who may adopt from Haiti. The only method by which the Haitian government may permit adoptions to non-conforming families is via Presidential Dispensation.
· The lack of a defined and efficient Dispensation process has caused delays of up to three years for children in the adoption process. Prolonged institutionalization has been scientifically proven to be highly detrimental to children.
· As orphanages expend their limited resources caring for children in the process of adoption over extended periods, they are unable to provide their traditional humanitarian aid programs to their communities.
· The existing adoption law provides almost no protection for the rights of abandoned children, their birth parents, or adoptive families. It offers no safe guards against human trafficking.
· A proposed adoption law will alleviate the crisis by standardizing and streamlining adoptions, and will far better protect abandoned Haitian children from child trafficking.

What else can you do? In addition to your primary calls to U.S. Congress and UNICEF, you can call the Haitian Embassy:
Embassy of Haiti in the U.S.
2311 Massachusetts Avenue, N.W.
Washington, D.C. 20008
Office Phone 1- 202.332.4090 Office Fax 1- 202-745-7215 embassy@haiti.org

If your still with me reading this, God bless you. Let's pray for strength together right now... Lord Jesus Christ, I humbly bow at your feet and confess that I am weary. I confess my doubt that this situation will ever improve. I can see that I've let doubt steal my strength. Forgive me Lord for not coming to you for strength. I come to you now Lord. I need your help. Fill me up with your Holy Spirit and move me to action. Show me the path you would have me to take to help. Lord, there are many options here before me, strengthen me to just get started. Lord, thank you. I praise you for who you are, mighty and able to save. Impress upon your people Lord a heart of compassion that will lead us to act. Amen Jesus.

Last week

Last week we got to do something we haven't done in 5 years. Go on vacation! We went to North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. It was wonderful! The last time we went, Savannah was 7, she's now 12, Lilah and Lona were 2, they're now 7 and Ella was turning 1, and she's 6 now. Noah and Izzy weren't even on the radar. So really, Savannah was the only one who remembered what the beach was like and for everyone else it was new. Also, the last time we went, Savannah was the only one who didn't try to eat the sand.

The kids loved the ocean. They wore themselves out in it. It was so great to watch them enjoy themselves so much. It's thrilling to see a child's soul filled up and overflowing with excitement. Another thing that caused a lot of excitement was the elevators. Everyday, the question of the day was "Can I push the alligator button?" How can you even think about saying no to that?

Stuck

I have been avoiding the blog. Sorry, I haven't even checked for comments, they're so kind.

I miss the boys... it makes me feel it all over again when I blog, but usually by the end of the post, I'm encouraged again, so... here I am.

By it, I mean missing the boys and going over thoughts about Haiti. I keep feeling stuck. Stuck between two worlds. America and a 4th world country. The contrast is mind boggling. Uugh, how do you deal with that? Complete poverty verses complete comfort. My day here, verses their day at the orphanage. All I have to do is say the word orphanage and that sums it up.

We do have some good news though, we are in IBESR and our file is being reviewed because they asked us to correct something in one of our documents. That gives us some hope anyway.

The Lord has given me a verse that comforts my heart as well as makes me hopeful for the day when my posts are not about missing the boys, but about our boys being home. Take a look.

Psalm 126:5-6

Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy.

They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest.

Makes you wanna shout Hallelujah right!! And, PRAISE GOD FOR ADOPTION too!!

Unpacking

Unpacking... not so much clothes, we took more food than clothes. Still unpacking the thoughts and lessons experienced while in Haiti. I'm humbled again. Yep, I thought on this trip I wouldn't be affected again by what I've already seen of Haiti. The devastation, the poverty, the longings, the confusion written on the faces of the people of Haiti. I didn't think I would examine that again. I didn't think I would examine those things in comparison to my own life, my own heart again. Not so. I am processing it again, reading God's word and praying over it. I stand in awe of the Lord. He carries all of this and the rest of the hurting world. But, he is not worried, not wringing his hands, not saying... Oh, what am I going to do about this? No, He is... I AM.

When I was on my needs before bed two nights ago, I came to him with thoughts of our trip, concerns and worries for the boys and the other children at the orphanage. It was overwhelming and swirling in my head. But, when I began to pray, all I wanted to say to him was... HOLY, HOLY, HOLY. I could only praise him. Not because of anything in me, but him living in me.

First Moments

The internet is in and out, so this will be short but sweet.

The boys look really good overall. They have really kind spirits. They are both pretty healthy. Malnourishment is always going to be a factor, but no illness right now.

They are playful and affectionate with us too.

We wanted to say hello and we miss you to the kids at home.

So, hello to Savannah, Lilah, Lona, Ella, Noah and Isabella! We'll be home soon!

Just to clear up some confusion

As many of you know this will be our second trip to Haiti, our first time meeting the boys, but no, we won't be bringing them home. Not yet.
Unfortunately, we are not very far in the process even though we've been at it for about a year and a half.
A lot of people ask us why it takes so long. The amount of time an international adoption takes varies by country. Each country requires their own specific steps and procedures. The nice thing about Haiti adoptions is that you can visit your children there about once a quarter. Below are the steps and time it takes to complete them.


Minister of Foreign Affairs
2-8 weeks

Preparation of file for IBESR (This is where we are)
2-8 weeks

IBESR
3-12 months

Civil Court
4-8 weeks

Legalization
4-12 weeks

Minister of Interior/MOI
3-6 months

Immigration/Passport printing
2-8 weeks

USCIS
3 weeks minimum

Visa Process
1 -2 weeks

Total timeframe
12 – 28 months

If I look at the the time frames, it's easy to get discouraged. However, Chris and I learned a valuable lesson with our second daughter's adoption. There were many court dates involved, all required steps and part of the process. Each time we counted on the court date and that particular step to be completed, we were let down. The court date would come and go with the case not being heard, or with the step being delayed another 6 months. After a while, that became heart breaking and completely discouraging. Then, we began to feel a nudging from the Lord to trust in the promises he had given us for this adoption and not to focus on the court dates and not to be intimidated by them. Which is exactly the opposite of what our circumstances were dictating. The judge held the verdict in his hands right? That's what the world tells us. That's where we got off track. We put our faith in the judge and the way the world ran things and not in Christ. By his grace, he refocused our eyes on him. Even though we had to walk by faith and not by sight (taking our eyes off what we could see in the courts, and putting our eyes on Christ and the unseen that he was working out) we began to have total confidence and peace. Peace that he had given us a promise and that he would make good on it. We've continued to look at each adoption that way. He gives us a promise in his word and that's where we try to keep our focus. We know he is able.

Updates!

I think this is the first photo I've seen of Changlais that he's not smiling. I can't wait to see that beautiful face. Do you see those eye lashes?! And what about Schneider? Wow! Have you seen more beautiful eyes?

Whenever the email comes across for updates, my heart leaps into my throat. Is this a good update or a bad update? Are they healthy or have they been hospitalized? Are they still at the orphanage or, well, you understand.

I'm kind of in a state of expecting the unexpected, especially since we're so close to leaving for the parent trip on the 13th.

But, all is well! Yea! Double Yea!

Haiti like sushi?

I think about Haiti a lot. I think about our last trip, I think about our trip coming up and I think about how to explain the way I feel about Haiti. One day, I don't know why or how, but sushi and Haiti connected. Funny, I know. I'm kind of quirky that way.
The first time I experienced sushi, my first thought at seeing the raw fish I was about to put into my mouth was, this is weird, scary, possibly dangerous to my health and, well, not right. And yet, I still wanted to try it. After I tried it, I didn't really enjoy the experience, but, I didn't hate it either. In fact, there was something about it that made me want to try it again. The next time I tried it however, I actually did like it. From that point on, I've enjoyed eating sushi.
So, how is sushi like Haiti to me? Well, the first time we experienced Haiti, it was evident as soon as we stepped off the plane, that the people of Haiti were desperate and in a desperate place. It's thick. And yet, we had children there. Children we had been longing to meet. That fact pushed us through what we would see and experience of Haiti. It was weird and surreal, scary and hard. Our children, though at a very good orphanage, were still in Haiti and food is limited and illnesses are not. The experience of caring for our children whose bodies were severely malnourished was not something I could have ever prepared myself for. Seeing people so desperate and a place so devastated was another thing I could not have prepared myself for. It was a lot to sift through in the week we spent there. It was hard, hard on the soul. But, it also changed my life, my perspective on everything. To hold and feed and love a severely malnourished orphaned child you want to claim as yours to the whole world dramatically changes your life. From that experience, as well as many other adoption experiences, my husband and I have fallen deeper in love with Jesus. He fills us and refills us with a passion and a desire for orphans, adoption and family that is more satisfying than anything we've ever know. He is abundant life. He is.
So, my second trip to Haiti has me feeling a bit apprehensive. I'm afraid of the feelings I felt last time. Fear, sadness, overwhelmed with it all. So, though Haiti was quite an experience, my boys are there and Haiti calls me back to try it again.

Pray for us if you think about.

Blessings.

Off to Haiti... THANK YOU!

We purchased our flights for the June parent trip to Haiti!

We just want to express our thanks... so...

THANK YOU!!!

Thank you to all of our fellow parents traveling to Haiti! Thank you for your prayers and continuous encouragement!!

Thank you to all of our church friends and family for your continued support! Thanks for keeping up with us and asking us how the adoption is going. We treasure your prayers and your kind words of encouragement.

In Him,

The Peterson Bunch

Uugh blog guilt!

Sorry. Here I am again, behind on blogging.

I'm just going to jump right in though.

This was taken when the boys first arrived at the orphanage. What can I say? It's heart wrenching. So many things go through my head when I look at this photo. What do they understand about what is happening? How do they feel? How do they feel when a week has gone by? A month? A year?

That brings me to June. Please pray for June!

That's the next parent trip and we really want to go meet our boys. Changlais and Schnider have seen families come and get their children at the orphanage so many times without having a family come for them. We would just love to be in there in June to change that!

Again, I'm humbly asking for your prayers for God's financial provision. Thanks so much for your prayers!!!

Wow, it's been a while...

Sorry, it has been sooo long since I've updated.

The flu hit our house and then, things got busy and well... you can read more about that on my husband's post today. To read it, go to http://tentstakes.blogspot.com

Anyway, we got updates on our boys!! They look really good don't they. Schneider has hair now.

We love you boys and can't wait to see you and scoop you up in our arms!!!

My Husband's Blog

If you haven't checked out Chris' post on Passion, go check it out!

here's the link
http://tentstakes.blogspot.com

The Peterson's boys

We got an email this week.

It said, "The Peterson's boys know that they have a family."

The Peterson's boys... just wanted to say it one more time!

I love this photo of them. Aren't they beautiful!!

Hotel in Haiti

I'm missing this room.

It's the hotel room we stayed at in Haiti. Chris and I met and loved and cared for 2 precious girls there. Vanessa and D'Jounela. We learned what malnutrition looks like and we tried desperately to make up for it.

Hopefully in June, we'll see this room again.
This time, we'll meet our boys. We'll spend another week getting as much food in them as we can, giving them as much love as we can, and lingering in the moment until we see them again.

She makes me laugh

Cool trick Lilah!

Happy Birthday

Today is Vanessa's birthday. She turned 5.

Happy Birthday precious girl!

We love you and miss you!

I hope one day we'll meet again.

Will you pray for her and her family?

No nap

So, I tried to stretch Noah yesterday and not give him a nap, in hopes of him sleeping better.

I gave him permission to stay downstairs with the big girls while I put the rest of the kids to bed.

But, when I came back down, here's what I found.

Isn't he sweet.

Yes, that's a bottle in his mouth, yes I caved, yes I know he's four years old.

I'm working on it.

Another photo

This was taken shortly after they arrived at the O. I love this photo of them, but it also breaks my heart. Their eyes are filled with uncertainty.

We wanted the boys to know that we wanted to be their parents as soon as possible.

We had heard that Changlais really wanted a family.

He and his brother have been there a while and have watched a lot of their friends get Mommies and Daddies.

I wonder if they know...

Look what I found

I found this picture Chris took at the orphanage. It was taken when we were there in October.

That's me to the right with the light purple shirt.

Look at the little boy who is only 2 feet away from me.

That's Changlais!

I'm falling in love... again

Chareyl's the best! She's our voice at the agency. By the way if you're looking for a great agency to work with, please look at Wasatch International Adoptions.

Anyway, she went through all of her past photos to find photos of Changlais and Schneider for us.

Thanks Chareyl!

I'm falling in love! Though my heart is still heavy and I still find myself sighing throughout the day when I think of Vanessa and D'Jounela. But, ... here we go again.

I'm looking forward to the next parent trip and praying hard for the Lord to move this adoption along with his speed.

Awww, look at him.

Hi Changlais.

I've also found myself whispering words of comfort to Changlais and Schnieder.

Much Needed

We had some much need together time this past weekend.

After such a long wait for the news from Haiti and then the loss of the girls, the timing of our weekend in the mountains was perfect.

There's a hotel that we like to stay at in Blowing Rock, North Carolina, about a 45 minute drive from our home. We've stayed there once before about a year and a half ago.

The room is a large double room with 4 double beds, 1 and 1/2 baths, a sofa area and a small dinning area. With 6 kids and 2 adults it's a great room!

The reason we like going there is the indoor pool. It's a real treat in the middle of winter!

Yes, we put the life vest on before we even leave the room. We learned to do that after Noah tried walking on water a couple a times.

Sorry about the pink vest buddy!

Hello sweet Lilah!

Great dive Lona!

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails?

Just so there's no confusion, Vanessa and D'Jounela's birthparents do have the girls and want to try and care for them. Vanessa is very content and D'Jounela is not well and in the hospital again. The birthparents have suffered through pain, loss and guilt and they need our prayers for healing and for provision to care for the girls. Haiti is just hard and decisions for those who live there are hard as well. Parents who bring their children to the orphanage are looking for help, not because they don't love the children, but because they are unable to provide. Sometimes that's only for a time and sometimes, it's the final decision.

As, for Chris and I, we know the Lord has led us here and we will continue to follow. We don't have all the answers. But neither did Abraham when the Lord told him to leave his home and follow him. That's where faith comes in.
We are privileged to have been a part of the girl's life for whatever reason the Lord chose. And, we are privileged to continue to follow his voice as he speaks to us about orphans, about people in need, about adoption, and about family.

So, back to "what boys are made of."

I've been waiting to post about the boys because I was kind of waiting on this feeling of loss to pass. It's much better, but still lingering.


So, I think sharing the news will help.

Meet Changlais and Schneider, our boys.

We are moving forward with our referral. Thank you for your prayers and support.

Many Blessings and may you dive deeper into Christ's endless love.

Love and Sorrow

Yesterday, I got these beautiful roses from my Husband. It had been a tough week waiting for news from Haiti and he wanted to cheer me up.
Let me back up now.
We received the news we'd been waiting for by email and I had just called Chris to share it with him. While I was talking with him, the flowers arrived.
God's timing is tender.
We lost the girls.
Love and sorrow meet when we follow Jesus. He's never left us and never left us with just sorrow.
We are sad and grieving, yet were are still positive we are where he wants us and doing what he called us to.
We'll grieve and we'll move forward. Love and sorrow again.
The report we got of Vanessa was very good considering the overall circumstances, however D'Jounela is in the hospital again. Please pray for her, for her birthparents and for Vanessa. Love and sorrow.
Would you pray for us as we grieve, as our children grieve also? Would you also pray for our moving forward? We've been given several sibling referrals and will be praying over them.
Yesterday was hard, today still is.
Thanks for all your prayers.

Before Noah

Well, I finally made it downstairs before Noah woke up.

I like to go downstairs and read my bible, drink coffee :), and then read some articles I'm interested in at the time. I love reading about homeschooling, raising children, adoption issues, inspirational family stories, and my newest interest, gardening.

So, my goal was to get up with Chris at 5:00 (I know, uugh). He likes to be up and have his quiet time before work. He prefers to get his own breakfast and just have some time to read his bible alone. So, it's a great time for me to do the same.

Any way, I usually trail behind Chris in going downstairs, Noah wakes up and I miss getting a little time to myself. But, today, I walked down with Chris.

I'm pretty sure I heard Noah's little feet going to our room as soon as I had gotten downstairs, so I gave it a few minutes thinking he would come looking for me, but, he didn't... he went back to his bed.

Hmm, I wonder if my new strategy will work again tomorrow? I hope so, this is great!
I've already had my coffee, read several articles, and blogged too! Now, I need to go read my bible.

Just so you're not left wondering, we haven't heard anything yet about Vanessa and D'Jounela.

Sorry, just haven't heard anything yet from Haiti. Our coordinator will be back this week from the parent trip that was in Haiti and might be able to update us. The next parent trip is not until June.

Of course, I've gone over a lot of scenarios in my mind about this situation, the birthmom, the girls, their health, their hearts. Some of the things I wonder are, will we be on that parent trip in June? Will we get to see Vanessa and D'Jounela then? How are they doing right now? How's the birthmom? I know she is so grieving the loss of her twin. Is she filled with so much fear that she doesn't know what to do? Is she hungry? How often does she have to go without food? Does she have any help from anyone? The girls, do they have enough to eat? I think about Vanessa a lot. She's 5 and she knows the separation that happened when she came to the orphanage. I can see it in her eyes, they have such a sadness about them. Can she take it again, if birthmom brings them back. D'Jounela? She was down to thirteen pounds, what about now. I don't think she could make it if she had to go too long without food. Will she make it through this? I love her and Vanessa and it's hard knowing what they've been through and thinking about them going through it again and yet I long to hold them again too. These thoughts and more I have brought to the Lord. Asking him how I should pray about this. What's best for the girls. It's been tough. But... I have to trust and believe in his best for the girls, birthmom, and us.

A couple of people have asked if we would want to change countries for an adoption. And I can say without a doubt, no. We know Haiti is where we're supposed to be. Such a thrill and joy wells up in my heart when I say that. Only the Lord could do that. He is awesome isn't he?!

We'd so appreciate your continued prayers over the girls, the birthmom and us.

Thanks for coming by

I will continue recording our journey here.

Still no news from Haiti. We're not sure if the meeting took place with the birthmother today, but please keep praying for her and the girls, for their safety and provision of food.